As I alluded to in my previous post, I have recently been having some social problems. This actually isn’t entirely accurate as I have had these problems for a long time and I am just now becoming aware of them. I have always been a little shy and introverted, but these traits became supercharged in high school. As I worked through school, I became more anxious, uncomfortable, and ashamed to be in public. I used to constantly worry about how I looked, how I smelled, and how I acted for fear that someone would see an imperfection and silently judge me for it. The strange thing is that I experienced very little bullying or taunting in high school and this can only mean that these feelings were just a product of my mind.
I would classify my days before I started nofap as socially negative. Unless I was around close friends, I would not be relaxed or outgoing, I would rarely talk to strangers or even acquaintances and when I did, I would be horribly awkward. I must have radiated a sense of low-self esteem, shame, and zero confidence through my posture, body language, and attire.
Since starting nofap, I have changed from this socially negative state to what I would call a socially neutral state. No longer do I feel ashamed or afraid in public. Instead, I feel comfortable, and relatively confident. This would be great, but I also find little desire or motivation to talk to new people. I realize that the only way solid friendships and relationships can form are through reaching out socially, yet I find myself constantly shying away from talking to new people in my classes or around campus. What is holding me back isn’t even intense fear, worry, or shame anymore; I simply lack the strong motivation to reach out to new people.
I do wish to change this as I have been horribly unsuccessful romantically in the past and do really want to have a successful relationship in college. I figure that socializing is something I’m going to have to work hard at just as I’ve worked hard to abstain from Porn and Masturbation. As long as I work to leave my comfort zone (thus expanding it) and talk to new people every day, I will finally reach a socially positive state, but it will be a long, uphill battle.
P.S.- Does anyone have any good advice for meeting and socializing with new people and especially flirting? If so, could you leave it in the form of a comment?